gymnastics floor mat

Heart pounding, you step out into the center of the arena and take your place on the far corner of the floor mat, the way you’ve seen gymnasts do on TV. The song “Carmen Suite No. 2” blares over the speakers, and you know that’s your cue. You start running.

While you try to make up your mind about what kind of flip you should try, you keep running. Pretty soon you have reached the other side of the mat. Uh oh. People were probably expecting you to do some kind of tumbling pass. You turn back around and do a few somersaults to a smattering of applause. Feeling brave and only a little dizzy, you try for a cartwheel.

It takes about six tries, but you manage to do a passable cartwheel. Then you remember that you need to work in some dance moves. So you quickly invent a dance move, which you decide to call “The Librarian,” because it looks like you are reshelving books.

The music ends while you’re pretending to stamp due dates on the backs of imaginary books. You wave to the audience, all while scanning the stands for Michel Temer. He is still in the same spot, chatting to the woman next to him and not paying any attention to you at all. Now is your chance!