Hottest Heads of State

A scientific and unbiased ranking of world leaders in order of hotness.

Hottest Heads of State Through History: French Monarchs

Louis XIV young

It’s a young Louis XIV! You would recognize those pouty lips anywhere.

France and America have had a special friendship ever since France bankrupted itself helping America win the Revolutionary War, triggering a violent and tumultuous upheaval in which millions perished. Now let’s celebrate the centuries of mutual affection between our two countries by ogling some hot French monarchs! (Or, as we like to call them, “Freedom monarchs.”)

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The Presidents of the United States: In Order of Best Eyebrows

Richard Nixon's right eyebrow

You might not know this about me, but the main thing I look for in a man is a nice pair of eyebrows. If a guy with mediocre eyebrows approaches me, I tell him, “Sorry, not interested.” Then when he says, “Um, I was just wondering if you could give me directions to the metro?” I say “No way.”

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JD and Kate Visit the Ulysses S. Grant National Historic Site

If you like Ulysses S. Grant, you will love our upcoming book, Hottest Heads of State: The American Presidents. You can just read the chapter on Ulysses S. Grant and throw the rest away!

The Ulysses S. Grant National Historic Site

Grantwood Village, MO
Adults: Free! | Children: Also free!

Kate: Our visit to the Ulysses S. Grant National Historic Site began by J.D. making me sit in the car and wait while he drank a huge cup of coffee.

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How to Celebrate Herbert Hoover’s Birthday

Herbert Hoover

Your long wait is over. It is finally, finally Herbert Hoover’s birthday.

What I love about Herbert Hoover’s birthday is that it’s the one day of the year when you get to really focus on Herbert Hoover, all day long, to the exclusion of everything else. Here are some ideas to help you plan a celebration that’s fun, rewarding, and full of memories that will help get you through the rest of the year. Which even now is looming, dark and inescapable, like an approaching sandstorm.

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A Fake Interview with Donald Trump

JD pretend to interview Donald Trump

President Donald Trump claims to hate The New York Times, which he calls “the failing New York Times,” yet he keeps giving them interviews. We, on the other hand, have not secured a single interview with him, even though he has never once called us “the failing Hottest Heads of State.” (Despite the fact that we are, by some measures, more of a failure than the New York Times.)

Fortunately, if there’s one thing I picked up at the University of Missouri School of Journalism (back when I regularly walked past it and imagined what was being taught inside) it’s that you’re allowed to make up interviews as long as you use real quotes.

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Justin Trudeau Fan Fiction, Ch. 2

Justin Trudeau fan fiction

Chapter 2: In Which Justin Trudeau Makes an Indecent Proposal,
But Probably Not the Kind You’re Hoping For.

So far, your second day of work has been better than your first. You haven’t gotten trapped inside any falling elevators, and you haven’t had any embarrassing encounters with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. Maybe being a member of Canadian parliament won’t be so bad after all! That is, as long as you can continue to avoid (1) elevators and (2) Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. (And also (3) the ghost that haunts Parliament Hill. But that’s a story for another day!)

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Memoir Quebecois, Part 2

Dinosaur exhibit at the Granby zoo

We live in a golden age of human achievement.

If you haven’t been reading JD’s travel diary, then you haven’t been missing out on much. Don’t believe me? Just check out Part 1!


Friday, July 7

Dear Diary,

We got the first pass version of our book on Thursday night, so I stayed inside all day on Friday working on the book and ignoring the kids’ requests that I 1) play ninja, 2) play pillowfight, or 3) play ninja pillowfight.

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Hottest Heads of State Through History

Hottest Heads of State Through History: French Monarchs

U.S. Presidents

The Presidents of the United States: In Order of Best Eyebrows

Halloween

Halloween Costumes for Defective Candle