Hottest Heads of State

A scientific and unbiased ranking of world leaders in order of hotness.

J.D. and Kate Visit Andrew Jackson’s Hermitage

As part of the research for our upcoming book,* we’ve been traveling around the country visiting presidential libraries and historical sites. And you can travel along with us—virtually!—by reading a review of each place we visit.

*It’s true! Hottest Heads of State: The American Presidents, is coming out from Henry Holt & Co. in January or February 2018. (We honestly don’t know whether it is January or February. Maybe we should ask someone!)


Born for a Storm

If you think no one in real life would ever use the #BornForAStorm hashtag, then you are wrong. In fact, it is a good way to get a counterpoint to our overbearingly sanctimonious view of Andrew Jackson and The Hermitage.

Andrew Jackson’s Hermitage
Nashville, TN
Adults: $20 | Students (ages 13-18): $15 | Children (ages 6-12): $10

JD: We visited The Hermitage, President Andrew Jackson’s historical site, on November 9, 2016, the day after Donald Trump won the U.S. presidential election. If you’re looking for something to help take your mind off a presidential election, I do not recommend visiting a presidential museum.

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Patrice Talon

President of Benin
Patrice Talon

Patrice Talon scored these sweet sunglasses for free from his eye doctor.

If, like me, you have a website in ranking all world leaders in order of hotness, then you’ll be excited to learn that the country of Benin has a hot new president. (Well, “new.” He’s been in office for like a year. It’s not easy to keep websites ranking all world leaders in order of hotness up to date, as you of all people would understand.)

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J.D. and Kate Visit the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum

As part of the research for our upcoming book,* we’ve been traveling around the country visiting presidential libraries and historical sites. And you can travel along with us—virtually!—by reading our review of each place we visit. (Note that in this first installment, you’ll also be traveling through time, because we visited the Lincoln Presidential Library on Labor Day and are only now getting around to posting this. A terrifying insight into our work process!)

*It’s true! Hottest Heads of State: The American Presidents, coming out from Henry Holt & Co. Look for it in early 2018! Or go ahead and start looking for it now, and by the time it comes out, you’ll feel like you’ve really earned it.


Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum

Photo credit: Lee Adalf (because ugh we forgot to take a photo.)

The Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum
Springfield, IL
Adults: $15 | Children (ages 5-15): $6

Kate: As we pulled up to the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum, it occurred to me that it is not a great place to begin this series, because after this every other presidential library is going to be a huge letdown. We should have started with Herbert Hoover.

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Explosive Video Shows Trump Colluding with Moscow

Sean Spicer, the White House press secretary, during a briefing on Friday. Acknowledging that President Trump is a Russian operative, Mr. Spicer argued “We litigated this all through the election. People didn’t care. They voted for him.” (Photo credit – Eric Thayer for The New York Times)

Washington, D.C. – CNN today released a video showing President Donald J. Trump meeting in Dubai with Russian strongman Vladimir Putin in February, 2016 to plan Russia’s interference in the U.S. election on Trump’s behalf, and to agree on concrete steps Trump would take in return to help the Russian leader. The video, which has been independently authenticated, also shows Putin tousling Trump’s hair, and the U.S. president speaking fluent Russian.

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Gaze Upon the Presidents in their Bathing Suits

Gerald Ford swimming

If you are eating right now, stop eating! You are about to see presidents of the United States wearing bathing suits, and it is an experience that is incompatible with the digestion of food.

You might be wondering, “Is this safe to view at work?” The answer is that it depends on where you work. If you’re not sure, ask the HR department if your office has a policy on looking at pictures of the presidents in bathing suits during work hours.

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Choose Your Own Adventure: You Are Donald Trump

Choose Your Own Adventure: You are Donald Trump

WARNING!!

Do not read this story straight through from beginning to end. These web pages contain many different adventures you may have as U.S. president Donald Trump. From time to time as you read along, you will be asked to make a choice. Your choice may lead to disaster, a worse disaster, or—theoretically—middling success.

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Best Search Terms from 2016

It’s time for the annual feature in which we comment on the search terms that brought people to our site. WordPress shows us these terms, presumably to help us do search engine optimization. But you know what is more fun than working on search engine optimization? Nearly everything. And “nearly everything” includes “making fun of people’s search terms.”

So, if you think reading jokes about search terms sounds fun, then you’ve come to the right place! Indeed, this might be the only place for you. And if you enjoy it, feel free to check out our 2015 installment. It will feel comfortable and familiar, because we probably recycled a lot of the same jokes.

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JD and Kate Visit...

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